I usually skip Realtime Strategy… but now I can’t any longer


Realtime Strategy games are not usually my cup of tea. I suck at them. Maybe it’s not how I roll, maybe it’s the time pressure (and my alignment is Chaotic Creative), or the traumatic suckage at Command & Conquer 1. So I usually avoid them. We go our seperate ways.

But now that changed. Now, something new appeared, now I can’t hide anymore! [climatic music ]


[disappointed silence]

What? Well yeah, sorry not Starcraft 2, don’t know what made you think that. There are snails everywhere in my new garden. It’s more like Tower Defense meets Plants vs. Zombies meets Tapper (C64): Like the Bavarian environment suggests I kill them with beer. I build bases of beer and wait for the rush.

And they come in waves, more like a very slow Zombie shooter. 40 today!

So, today’s lesson: you are f**ked if you are a slug, basically. You get to shag a she-slug only once in your life. Then you drown in a pool of beer. Happens to the best of us.

So, finally an RTS enemy that matches my skills and speed.


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